Day Two

I had a few moments of weakness today.

I saw two students making out and being goofy in the hallway at school. I thought of when TheEx and I used to go for long walks downtown and we would act goofy like that. I felt like there was a hole in my soul. I wanted to call TheEx and remind him of that time. I resisted of course.

Then, something made me think of one of the road trips we took together. We drove to Houston to go visit a friend of his down there. And we had the best time in the car. Those were great times. It’s so sad how people get disconnected with time.

Anyhow, except for a couple of weak moments, I felt pretty strong today. Maybe it’s the fact that I’m excited about finally meeting M tomorrow. We’ve been in contact for a while and we finally decided to meet and go for lunch to see if we hit it off.

I’ve been on a few dates recently, and I realize that it’s not easy to find someone who feels right. I usually know within the first fifteen minutes whether there is a connection.

M has a goofy sense of humor, at least on email. That is my number one requirement. Witty goofiness.

Something changed in me the other day though. As TheEx and I argued (because he was cancelling his visitation, yet again!), I realized I had to let go of the marriage because my not letting go was interfering with our ability to co-parent. TheEx has some issues too, don’t get me wrong. But I know that I can lead by example. My monkey deserves a happy and stable environment.

So this is day two of my resolution to put an end to the roller coaster ride and make co-parenting my number one priority when it comes to TheEx.